I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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