My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
