looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
