I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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