there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
