I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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