I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
farters have to be the big spoon...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
