Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
PANTIES FOUND
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
