I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
