You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
