i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
