I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
