Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
