Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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