i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
