someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize