Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
