I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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