he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize