Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
