Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Its about making memories worth repressing
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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