ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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