I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
