So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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