Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
