I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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