Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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