I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
