none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
