does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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