Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
