I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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