i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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