I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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