Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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