so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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