He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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