Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.