haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.