Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
