I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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