Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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