I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
