i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize