i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
