My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
