What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
