what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
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One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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