And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
