Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
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do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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