Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
