he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
