i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
