HIV tests are more positive than that guy
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize