Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
