You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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