Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
