I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
