I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
